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You’re unhappy more often than not. What are you holding on to? Flashes of false effort that only lends false hope? It’s not real. The way you feel is evident in your actions. The way he feels is evident in his lack of actions. How much longer are you going to let him use you? He doesn’t WANT you. May not even like you but seems to need you. Needs all that you give so freely. It’s been years and all he gives you are new reasons why he refuses to commit. Then tells you he loves you so you’d hold on just a little longer. Long enough for him to find who he truly wants.  Then tell you it’s your fault it didn’t work because you were too this or too that. Beautiful, you must activate your worth. It’s not enough to just know it.